Just realize...

Sometimes i do hate the world, i hate my self, i hate the way we brought up, i hate even God! I keep asking god for all the wishes hopes, but it never come true.. i keep complaining...

now i just realize how lucky Iam , to have a guy like him, who keep trying to understand me, to give me time even how busy he is..a guy who have a good soul, a guy you can call a real Man! He might not be a perfect one! We might differ in age but He was the one who makes my life perfect.

and..

I realize god give me soo much in life..i regret sometimes and i even take for granted of everything i have.. i was jealous of other friends..

but now I want you to know that even though my ultimate dream was never come true but im so lucky to have a family , my hubby with me, thru thick and thin.. one day all my dreams will come tru it is uncertain but i know it will be true!!!

Thanks God for everything..

x0x0x0

darelady

Getting Weak, tired..

Its been long time again that i didn't visit my blog, since maybe i dont have much energy to talk about my life coz there is N-O-T-H-I-N-G N-E-W.

My father just past away, marc has been away, he is very busy getting into legal matters that i couldnt understand why he is always having a hard time, that im getting sick and tired of the legal problems, im afraid that maybe one day, i will be run away! Well rigth now im loosing interest of getting married, going to canada. I mean i dont know where iam going what i will do, coz nothing's change since we met! still hoping.. waiting..

So now, what i really want is to find out, why does all my dream where never come true! I was that really bad of a person to deserve all of this things??????? I even forget G-O-D, going to church every sunday like i used to do before..

It is just unfair to me, coz i never committed something like cheating, betrayal! but why i deserve all this. and also why does Marc have to suffer all this pains????? I feel so pity for him, i really like to help him out! i want to hug him. to kiss him to let him feel that he is an extra ordinary guy, that no matter what happen to his legal problems im always here for him! That i do love him from the bottom of my heart, that it does hurt me to see him having a hard time!

Well i posted this things.. coz i just want to make my self feel better this is the only way i can shout.. or i can say how i feel.

okey thats it for now..