ups and downs..

Today, was about to check my emails then suddenly i remember that one thing could make me feel better is my bloggersphere!

I am very upset early this evening, i didnt like to eat to dinner, and i just wanted to stay in the room of our American friend where we sleep since we arrived here in dumaguete!

I am very upset because, supposedly me and Marc will have a nice dinner at the indian restaurant, he was out all day long to spend a party at our American's friend. I was left in the house with Betty, Michelle, Kiana and the two lovely dogs! I ask betty if we could play tong it since, Marc and Ron went to a party. So betty called one of our friend, Grace and told her if she could come and play tong it with us! And yes Grace arruved around 2:30 Pm! so we started our game.. our all time favorite "tong it" ...It was not a lucky day for me coz since we started the game i keep loosing until Marc and Ron arrived!..

I dont know but i have a strong feeling that Marc really hates me because im playing because im wasting his MONEY! It is not my intention for him to hate me.. to be crazy with tong it but i really admit that i do enjoy it soo much! How i wish i just could have my OWN money! that I wish i will no longer depends on Marcs money so that he wont get mad everytime i spend his penny!

Anyway what really makes me feel so bad as well is , i thought he will take me out to a dinner, like i said at the indian restaurant where we eat last year... when we finish playing tong it.. i told him " honey are we going out tonigth and then he just so busy.. searching something on internet! Am i just being sensitive here?????????????? but i really dont like it.. i really feel sorry for myselfo that he keeps ingnoring me! that i cannot be special in his life?!! of course who am i to him? I am just a Filipina Girl who have nothing in this world!

Should i blame God? Should i blame my Parents? Im just soo sad and soo pissed today?! Pls God give me strength coz im really weak....